The Highly Sensitive Person
                   

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Back to Comfort ZoneMay 2013: Comfort Zone ONLINE
An Adventure of the Heart with European HSPs

Dear HSPs,

Sorry this is late. You will read why--travelling. And I guess this is a travel issue, although this is a good season to stay home, too. Longer days mean more time to be in nature, where we do downtime best (besides meditating or resting in bed). If you work during the day, consider taking a long walk after dinner or make your dinner a picnic. Walk home in moonlight around the dates of June 23, and July 22. Even far from any light you can see your way with full-moonlight.

In this Issue:

Why Comfort Zone is Late:
An Adventure of the Heart with European HSPs

Vacation Time and Friends: Suggestions for When They Visit or When You Travel Together

HSPs and Hotels

Two items for parents:
Ted Zeff on preventing your sensitive son being bullied
A Review of Attachment Play by Aletha Solter

Upcoming:

ATTENTION PSYCHOTHERAPISTS: San Francisco Bay Area, October 19: Save the date and join me when I give a continuing education course for psychotherapists, "Working with the Highly Sensitive--Twenty Percent of the Population and Probably Fifty Percent of Clients." This is sponsored by the Santa Clara and San Mateo County California Psychological Associations. The link for registering will appear in the August newsletter and the location will be announced later, but it will be somewhere on the Peninsula.

I will teach at a level appropriate for professionals, although nonprofessionals may attend. However, only Clinical Psychologists, MFTs, and LCSWs with licenses in California can obtain credits.

Psychotherapists from out of state are welcome, however. This could be the only time I do this (although I would like to train more therapists, so I might do it again if invited elsewhere nearby). Another reason to come is that, to make it easier for HSPs to find HS-knowledgeable therapists in their area, I will list on my website licensed therapists or counselors who have taken the course. (That would be for one year--I will charge after that, to help pay for the website upkeep, but you could drop out if you receive no referrals from the website in that time.)

I look forward to meeting some of my colleagues.

Also In the San Francisco Bay Area:

June 21, Walnut Creek, CA: "Elaine Aron Talks about High Sensitivity." Unity of Walnut Creek, 1871 Geary Rd., 7-9 pm, $20 at the door. No need to RSVP--this time the room is large.

Another HSP Gathering:

September 26-30, 2013: The 27th HSP Gathering Retreat, Loveland, Colorado (only 30 minutes from beautiful Estes Park) To be held at Sunrise Ranch, www.sunriseranch.org These are really important for gaining support and appreciating the reality of your trait. They can be life changing.

Pure Fun Department:

Consider seeing Romantics Anonymous, a French romantic comedy about highly sensitive people. As the director, Jean-Pierre Ameris explains,

"In France, we call this being emotif, or hyper-sensitive, hyper-emotional. People like this don't have defenses, so they feel they're being invaded by others and by their fears. They carry a permanent state of tension between desires to love and work with others and something that keeps them held back. It causes a lack of self confidence and a fear of others -- a 'who's going to look at me' phobia.

We have support groups for emotifs in France called Les Emotifs Anonymes. In fact, that's the title of the film in France. It doesn't translate in English, so we changed the name here. I myself suffered from this problem. I remember when I was young and had to leave the house, I'd open the door a crack to see if the street was clear. It got even worse in adolescence and continued beyond that. So when I discovered the organization 10 years ago, I joined a group and went to it for two years."

For a little more from Ameris, see http://www.huffingtonpost.com/linda-hassler/french-film-romantics-ano_b_865328.html

I think I finally understand why the title of the French translation of The Highly Sensitive Person is Ces gens qui ont peur d'avoir peur, with the subtitle Mieux comprendre l'hypersensibilité (A Better Understanding of Hyper-sensitivity), and hence these groups he is describing. I was always troubled by this strange title, but of course the French would see the trait described in the book as mostly about being very emotional.

The movie is receiving warmly enthusiastic reviews as people discover it. Much of the humor is based on the familiar but exaggerated problems of some HSPs, but also note the main characters' strengths. His intuition, in that he hires her immediately, and her craftsmanship and business sense. He's a kind boss, even if a bit formal and rigid--to protect himself, you soon learn. Note that they both allude very briefly to problem parents--that interaction of sensitivity and environment leading to their hilarious anxieties. In particular his anxious and probably sensitive father taught him to "hope nothing ever happens to you." Ring any bells? It's hard to fall in love with that much worry about the outcome, but of course they do.

When you need to smile, watch this movie!

International News:

Speaking of France, there's a great deal about Europe in this issue. But not mentioned there...

Spain: "Asociación para Personas Altamente Sensibles" had its first presenting in the theatre of the "Diario de Mallorca," in Palma de Mallorca, on the 3rd of May, 2013. Here are more details, from Karina Zegers de Beijl, a Spanish coach who has worked on this for six years:

"After a tiring and sometimes really discouraging battle with local bureaucracy and general red tape, we finally have done it! Please take a look at our web site: http://www.asociacionpas.org/ I loved creating it and learned a whole new skill, great fun! And the best news? Spanish HSPs are finally getting organized in small groups throughout the country... That is something I'm really excited about. Really, it's not an easy trip here, in this very macho country, but after almost six years, I finally am seeing results."

Warm wishes to HSPs all over the world,

Elaine

 

May 2013 Articles:

A Letter from Elaine
An Adventure of the Heart with European HSPs
Vacation Time and Friends: Suggestions for You
HSPs and Hotels
Ted Zeff on Preventing Your Sensitive Son being Bullied
A Review of Attachment Play by Aletha Solter

 

More Comfort Zone Email Newsletters

May 2013 Articles:

A Letter from Elaine

An Adventure of the Heart with European HSPs

Vacation Time and Friends: Suggestions for You

HSPs and Hotels

Ted Zeff on Preventing Your Sensitive Son being Bullied

A Review of Attachment Play by Aletha Solter

 

 

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